1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
