you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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