you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
