Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize