You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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