She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
