I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
40s are totally the cure
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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