I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
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my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just had sex on a roof
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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