thus making me awesome and them whores
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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