There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
