After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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