the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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