so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
