i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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