did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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