apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Sorry about my life...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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