nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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