weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
