Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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