He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
