We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
