Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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