I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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