Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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