So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
