my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
