this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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