Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
