We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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