I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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