I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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