Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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