I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
