Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
