Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
