You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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