She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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