I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
