I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
