I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
