brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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