I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
