Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
