I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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