I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
