I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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