so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
