My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
