so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
