I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
