super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
