She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.