Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
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I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly