if i can run in heels then i can drive
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
