I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
