Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize