We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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