Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
