just come out here and I will go home with you...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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