I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
