3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Vodka?
Forever.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
