The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sext me about skeletons
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
