Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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